T & M Productions, in Association with Xadium Studios
And the Suburban Senshi Signal Corps
Shamelessly Presents…
Episode 6 : Planet Hentai – Reloaded
Setsuna slumped down on the couch, pressing a bloody tissue up against her nose in an effort to stop the bleeding.
“Jeez Louise!” she exclaimed, “What is up with you people?!”
“We’re watching Sporehunt so shut the f#$% up!” snapped Haruka. Setsuna smirked a little.
“I already knew that,” she intoned cryptically.
“Okay, if you already knew that then you would’ve already known that we’d kick your ass if you interrupted us,” retorted Jedite.
“I knew that,” replied Setsuna. Michiru then thwapped her upside the head with her harisen.
“How about that?!” demanded Michiru, “Did you see *that * coming?!” She then whacked Setsuna again. “How about *that *?! And *that *! ( whap ) and *that *! (whap) and *that *!”
“Whoa! We’ve got a mad Michi on the loose!” called out Minako. Rei.bot quickly snatched the harisen out of Michiru’s hands and quickly gave her a thwap upside the head.
“Behave,” stated Rei.bot, flatly. Meanwhile, Tomoe had finished resetting the DVD player and continued when it had left off.
The Black Delmo dashed through the halls of Planet Hentai, sweatdropping a little as she heard the distinct sounds of pursuit behind her. The camera swiveled to show Chibiusa, Helios, NakoNako, and FishEye chasing after her.
“Hey!!” screamed the Delmo, “It’s the Spores! Do it to him!!” Over the radio Morrigan just chuckled.
“Crow,” stated Morrigan, “Please eliminate Shingo. He just got voted off the Planet!”
Lead Crow, Questis, and Chocolat Misu all smiled evilly at Shingo, then began walking towards him.
“It’s time, little boy,” said Chocolat as she and the other girls grabbed his chair and dragged it out into the middle of the room. Shingo’s eyes bulged and his nose began to bleed as he got a *good * look down Chocolat’s bikini top.
“I know the feeling!” added Haruka, “I’d be doing the same thing if I were in his position.” Michiru growled angrily…then Rei.bot quickly reached over and thwapped Haruka.
“Arigato!” replied Michiru.
“Welcome,” stated Rei.bot.
“No! Don’t kill Shingo!” cried Hotaru, “Give him to me!” She then started blushing fiercely as she realized her outburst.
“Yes, that’s it, Hotaru,” urged Jedite, “Give in to your ecchi side!”
Shingo nearly squealed as the three girls began pulling at his clothes. His expression became one of pure excitement as Lead Crow leaned over him. His hands struggled at the ropes binding him as he desperately tried to free himself, eager to cop a feel on any of them.
Then the three girls began stuffing carrots into his clothes.
“What the hell are they doing to him?” asked Setsuna.
“What? You mean you don’t know?” retorted Artemis. Setsuna facefaulted a little…and Tomoe burst out laughing.
Chocolat and Questis stuffed carrots into Shingo’s clothes until they were close to bursting while Lead Crow stood near a closed door. Once they were done, Questis and Chocolat quickly went over to a punching bag hanging from the ceiling and picked up baseball bats. Then Lead Crow opened the door.
“Chibiusa,” announced Morrigan over the radio, “Please say goodbye to Shingo!!”
Shingo screamed in terror as a horde of kawaii, ravenous Cabbits surged through the doorway, bouncing towards him as they all caught the scent of sweet, delectable carrots. Meowing happily, the Cabbits quickly buried Shingo while Chocolat and Questis began beating the crap out of the punching bag with their bats. Lead Crow collapsed to the floor laughing as the Cabbits swarmed over Shingo, crawling underneath his clothes to get at the carrots. Between Shingo’s muffled screams of laughter and the clubs smacking the punching bag, it sounded like Shingo was being beaten to death with sledgehammers.
Chibiusa heard every moment of it. After several seconds Morrigan cut the sound off.
“You might as well have done the deed yourself, kiddo,” said Morrigan.
“Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!” screamed the Suburban Senshi as they all burst out laughing.
“Death by Cabbit!” snickered Hotaru, “How cruel!”
“Yeah, but what a way to go!” added Artemis, “C’mon, cabbit-babes, shake those tails!”
“Well, I guess that’s better than a tentacle-rape any day,” added Jedite.
“Except in the Odango-Atama’s case,” added Tomoe, “They should tentacle-rape her every single day!”
The scene switched, showing Zoicite and Nyanko as they ran for their lives from Leudast, Starcat, and Kakyuu. A shotgun blast rang out, and part of the wall next to Zoicite exploded, showering him and Nyanko with plaster dust.
“Come back here and take what’s coming to you!” shouted Kakyuu, “I’ll bite your legs off!”
“That’s exactly why we’re running!” shouted back Nyanko as she kept on running. Zoicite, still in pain from getting shot with a stun round, was barely keeping up.
“Wait…stop for a second!” he called out.
“Are you crazy?!” screamed Nyanko, “They’re right behind us!”
“I can’t keep up! Those stun bullets hurt like hell!” retorted Zoicite. Nyanko skidded to a halt and spun around to face him.
“I don’t care!” she screamed, “I don’t wanna get caught by those freaks chasing us! You wanna stop that’s your problem, not mine. And…oh shit!” Zoicite turned around…to see Starcat, Leudast, and Kakyuu standing only a few feet away. Starcat smiled evilly as she leveled the needle pistol at Zoicite.
“No! Wait! Can’t we talk this over?!” pleaded Zoicite, “Nyanko! Help me!” Starcat simply smiled and pulled the trigger, putting a tranquilizer dart into Zoicite’s stomach.
“HELL YEAH!!” shouted the Suburban Senshi. High-fives were made all around.
As Zoicite staggered backwards, Starcat and Leudast both jumped on top of him and proceeded to pummel him into the floor. Kakyuu grinned wickedly and charged at Nyanko.
“Aaaaaahhhhh!!” screamed Nyanko. She turned to run, but Kakyuu landed right on top of her…sending both of them tumbling down a flight of stairs, kicked and trading punches.
“All right! Girl fight!” shouted Tomoe.
“Yes!” hissed Jedite, as he started headbanging.
“Kick her @$$!” shouted Michi, “Kick it! Kick it! Kick it!”
While Kakyuu and Nyanko tumbled down the stairs, Zoicite was having problems of his own. Starcat was busy whaling on him with kidney-punches while Leudast got up, stepped back, and leapt up into the air, nailing Zoicite with a WWE-style body slam.
“YES!!!” shrieked Jedite, “Kick his f%$#ing ass!!!”
“I knew that would happen,” said Setsuna, cryptically.
“Forget about Zoicite,” cried Hotaru, “Hurry up and do that to Chibiusa!”
Rolling Zoicite over onto his stomach, Leudast and Starcat pulled out the cufftape, grabbed his arms and legs, and proceeded to start triple-hog-tying him.
“We’ve got one!” cried out Starcat, flashing the V-sign at the camera.
“Hoody-hoo!” added Leudast.
“Yes!!” shouted Morrigan over the radio, “Excellent! That’s 12000 dollars American for the SporeHunters! Now just carry him his drugged carcass down the hall over to room 235, leave him with some of my friends, and we’ll take care of the rest.” The last thing Zoicite heard before passing out was the sound of evil laughter.
“YES!!” screamed Jedite again as he started high-fiving everyone in the room, “They finally caught someone!”
“About time,” remarked Michiru, “I was beginning to wonder.”
“So what happens to Zoicite now?” asked Minako.
“Medical experimentation!” exclaimed Tomoe, “I need more test subjects! Muahahahahaha!”
“I hope they douse him with gasoline and light his butt on fire,” remarked Hotaru.
“Well if that Morrigan girl has her way it’ll probably involve something really nasty and ecchi,” said Haruka.
“Or a combination of chicken feathers, cod-liver oil, and a very very depraved walrus,” added Setsuna.
Scene switch – the booth were the other SporeHunters were seated with Havoc and some of the Fanboys. The SporeHunters suddenly tensed up as they overheard everything on their radios. Shaldra looked at Solarchos curiously.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“Starcat and Leudast have caught Zoicite!” replied Solarchos.
“We got one!” cried Seiya.
“Kickass!” stated Wolfwood, “Now where’s that f^%$ing horseboy?”
“Your people caught one of the Spores?” asked Minnie-May, “Hey! That’s great! Good job!”
“Ah, so your people have finally captured one of the elusive Spores, have you?” began Havoc, sipping her drink coyly, “The Spores are in my domain and I see no reason why I should give them up. No reason at all.”
“Say what?” demanded Jup.Knight.
“You’re trying to jump our bounty, aren’t you?” snapped Adam. Solarchos sighed.
“We’ll make a deal then,” he stated. Havoc laughed.
“Always straight to business, eh Solarchos?” retorted Havoc, coyly, “Okay, I have something you want. To make a deal you must have something I want, yes? And it so happens there is something I want. Something I’ve wanted ever since we first came here. It is said they cannot be taken, they can only be given.”
“And those might be?” asked Shaldra. Havoc smiled at her directly.
“The panties of Sailor Saturn,” replied Havoc, laughing.
“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” screamed all of the Suburban Senshi as they burst out into hysterical laughter once again. Hotaru wasn’t laughing. Her face was now bright luminous red and she was making the mother of all face-faults.
“WHAT??!!” she screamed in dismay, “Son of a…!! For the last time I am NOT a f^$%ing sex symbol!!!”
“Yeah!” added Minako, a little miffed, “What’s she got that I don’t have?! They should be worshipping me!” Hotaru just glared back at her.
Meanwhile, Wolfwood was fuming and the rest of the SporeHunters didn’t look too pleased as Havoc continued to taunt them.
“I have told you before, there’s no escaping the nature of the ecchiverse,” explained Havoc, “It is that nature that has made you come to me. Where some see coincidence, I see consequence. Where others see chance, I see cost. Bring me the panties of Hotaru Tomoe and I will give you back your bounty. That seems a particularly fair and reasonable deal to me. Yes? No?” Anarchy and Minnie-May just shook their heads in abject disgust.
“I don’t have time for this sh!t,” snapped Wolfwood. Suddenly, he whipped out his Desert Eagle and lunged at Havoc. Havoc stared up in surprise as Wolfwood pressed his gun right into her forehead. Pandemonium deployed her Naughty Tentacles…then froze as Solarchos aimed his rifle at her chest. Demolition quickly pulled out his Sword of Light ( just like Gourry’s ) and prepared to strike at Wolfwood…but froze as Shaldra quickly sprang forward, bared her claws, and placed them firmly against his neck. Seiya aimed his MP5 at Carnage as he began to pull out his katana. Minnie-May started to pull the pin on a grenade, but stopped as Adam leveled his gun at her. Sophia and Sarcasm both froze as Jup.Knight whipped out both of his laser pistols and aimed at both girls. Anarchy stayed right where she was, Chaos had wandered off, and Kintaro and Megumi weren’t going to be able to do much.
“You want to make a deal?” demanded Wolfwood, “How about this? You leave Hotaru Tomoe out of this or we all die right here, right now.” Havoc brow-twitched.
“Interesting deal,” she replied, “You are really ready to get splooted for that girl?” There was a loud click as Wolfwood cocked back the hammer of his gun.
“Believe it,” he stated firmly.
“What kind of idiot would waste his time on a runt like Hotaru?,” remarked Jedite.
“Cut with the angst and just shoot someone!” called out Tomoe. Hotaru growled angrily, whipped out her glaive, and smacked Jedite and Tomoe in the heads with the haft of her weapon.
“No,” replied Havoc, “Take your best shot.” She smiled eagerly. Without a word, Wolfwood pulled the trigger…
P-TOOMPH!!! The sound of Wolfwood’s pistol going off was muffled by the huge volumes of yellowish-white gel which flew in all directions, splattering everyone in the area. Everyone was drenched with dozens of gallons of the stuff…except for Havoc, who was remarkably unharmed. She brushed off the dress she was wearing and poured herself another glass of cherry Coke. Everyone else, Fanboy and SporeHunter alike, stood right where they were, twitching.
“What the f^%# was *that *?!” demanded Solarchos.
“Never try to hurt, smite, or otherwise attempt to kill Havoc,” muttered a very messy Minnie-May Hopkins, “It activates his Cream-Lemon Defensive Field.” Wolfwood just stood there, facefaulting, sweatdropping, and completely saturated with the stuff.
“Cream…lemon?” asked Jup.Knight.
“Is this stuff going to affect how the girls see my pumped-up pecks?” asked Demolition as he ripped off his saturated shirt to show off his chest ( which no one seemed to notice ).
“Oh god!!” cried Seiya, “How am I supposed to wash this stuff out of my hair?!” Solarchos twitched a little as he felt something start lapping at his neck. He looked over to see Shaldra standing right next to him, licking off some of the Cream Lemon on his neck.
“Mmmm! This stuff tastes kinda good!” she exclaimed. Solarchos’ nose started bleeding again as Shaldra continued to lick him clean.
“Yes! Yes!” shouted Tomoe, “Be a naughty kitty!”
“Ugh. Lick *this *,” grumbled Jedite as he flipped off the screen, “Hurry up and get back to the fighting.”
C-Pov – from the floor up a flight of stairs. Nyanko and Kakyuu were currently tumbling down the stairs, kicking, screaming, and punching each other the whole time. Landing with a huge crash at the bottom, Nyanko landed on top of Kakyuu and got to her feet first. She barely got two steps before Kakyuu sat up and lunged at her, wrapping her arms around the fleeing Animamate’s foot.
“You’re not going anywhere!” shouted Kakyuu. Then she bit Nyanko on the leg.
“MEEOOOOUUCH!!” screamed Nyanko. She fell to the ground, rolled over, and kicked Kakyuu in the face with her other foot.
“Yeah! Now *this * is what I’m talking about!” cried Jedite. Everyone cringed as Kakyuu b!^*hslapped Nyanko viciously.
“Nice!” commented Haruka.
“Ouch!” added Minako.
“I’ve gotta admit I do enjoy seeing things like this happen to people like Nyanko,” stated Hotaru. Tomoe, Setsuna, and Artemis just laughed.
A little further down the hallway, a young teenaged girl with long dark hair and a gold-colored short-skirted dress peered out from around a corner. Rie of the Gold Delmos immediately caught sight of Kakyuu and Nyanko slugging it out in the hallway.
“Sh!t!!” she shouted into her headset radio, “Bianka! Saniya! Toniya! I’ve spotted one of the Spores! Remove the prisoners!”
Nyanko barely heard Morrigan as she began laughing hysterically.
The scene switched, showing the inside of Planet Hentai’s kitchen. Katsumi, Shampoo, Ukyo were busy cooking up stuff for the ravenous crowds of the nightclub, Nuku-Nuku was busying pouncing on a mouse, and Bianka, Saniya, and Toniya, the other three members of the infamous Gold Delmo squad, were pulling Kenji and Ikoku Tsukino a few inches further apart from each other. The bound and gagged father and mother stared nervously at the three girls. All three Delmos smiled wickedly.
“Bianka…” ordered Morrigan over the radio, “Commence.” Bianka smiled even more.
“The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish, and the tyranny of evil men,” she began, walking back and forth a little while Saniya and Toniya walked around to the sides, “Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness! For he is truly his brother’s keeper…and the finder of lost children.” Bianka stopped smiling and glared at Usagi’s parents. “And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger…those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers!”
Kenji and Ikoku started sweat-dropping big-time.
“And you will know my name is the Lord!” shouted Bianka, “WHEN I LAY MY VENGEANCE ON THEE!” The three Gold Delmos whipped out guns and aimed at Usagi’s terrified parents.
C-Pov – the front of the horrified faces of FishEye, Helios, NakoNako, and Chibiusa as they heard everything over the radio. Chibiusa heard the muffled shrieks of Ikoku…which were completely drowned out a moment later by two pistols and a submachine gun being emptied into both of them. Then…silence as the signal was cut off.
“You can thank Tin-Tin for that one, kid!” commented Morrigan, snickering.
“Kupi…” gasped NakoNako.
“Ezekiel 25-17,” whispered Helios in awe, “Now THAT’S some messed-up sh!t!”
“F%$# you, Morrigan!” screamed Chibiusa, “I swear I’m gonna kill your skanky @$$ dead for this!”
“Big words for a pink-haired runt like you,” retorted Morrigan over the radio, “Now hurry up. You’ve got ONE member of your family left. Otherwise, you’re stuck here.”
C-Pov – overhead shot of Ikoku and Shinji Tsukino as they laid on their backs, twitching in pain from the dozens of paint-ball bullets which had exploded all over their bodies. Locking the door behind her, Rie joined the rest of the Gold Delmos in downing some Sapuros in celebration of their latest “kill”.
The scene switched again, showing the Cream-Lemon-drenched SporeHunters and Fanboys as they tried to clean themselves off…without much luck. Sarcasm snarled angrily as she saw the condition of her long, dark hair.
“Havoc! You jerk!” she snapped, whipping out a huge spatula ( a la Ukyo ) and swung it at Havoc from behind.
“No! Don’t!” screamed Anarchy. SPLOOT!!! Everyone froze as a huge blast of fresh Cream Lemon drenched them all.
“Oh…son of a…” sighed Solarchos.
“Not again…” grumbled Adam.
“Ugh! I think some of that stuff went right inside my ears!” cried Shaldra.
“Do you HAVE to do that?!” demanded Jup.Knight. Havoc, who was still as clean as can be, just smiled.
“Just HOW the hell is she doing that anyway?” demanded Seiya, “Where’s it coming from?”
“Someone asked me that a long time ago,” replied Pandemonium as she scooped out a huge handful of the glop from the inside of her shirt top, “You know what I told them?”
“Don’t ask?” offered Wolfwood. Pandemonium pointed at him and nodded.
“Bingo.” Anarchy stood up, tightly holding on to the side of her chair to avoid slipping.
“Okay, new deal!” she called out, “Since you SporeHunters are on our turf, any Spores you catch here in Planet Hentai we get half of the bounty. Fair enough?"
“Deal,” agreed Solarchos. Before anyone could do anything else, the music downstairs died.
“CHIBIUSA TSUKINO!!!” screamed a voice from the main entrance, speaking in perfect Japanese ( which was subtitled for the viewing audience in the Senshi den ), “YOU AND I HAVE UNFINISHED BUSINESS!!!” The camera focused in on Lord Chaos, who was standing near the doorway with a bloody nose, a frilly fuku, and a nervous expression. Standing behind him, holding a large, broad-bladed sword was…
“Holy crap! It’s Uma Thurman from “Kill Bill”!” exclaimed Minako.
“Uh…no…it’s…” began Michiru as the camera angle turned slightly. Then they all groaned.
“It’s Excel again,” grumbled Haruka, “Sh!t.”
“Not Excel!” cried Setsuna, “Son of a b!^*h I hate her!” Jedite smirked.
“Funny, I thought you would’ve known she’d be popping up again,” he remarked sarcastically. Setsuna flipped him off.
With a loud giggle, Excel pulled her sword and swung it as hard as she could, its blade biting deeply into…
…Chaos’ right buttcheek.
“KYAAAAAAAAA!!!” screamed Chaos as he immediately fell to the floor, writhing and kicking, instantly going into super-deformed big-head mode in his agony, “JO’O-SAMAAAAA!!! JO’O-SAAAAMAAAAAA!!! JO’O-SAAAMAAAAAAA!!!”
“Oh my goddess!!” cried Shaldra, cringing a little.
“Ah, no big loss,” said Carnage, “Chaos gets smited like that at least two or three times a day. He’ll be fine.”
Excel stepped over the freaking-out Chaos and slowly made her way into Planet Hentai, her sword held before her, stained in Fanboy blood ( although it’s been debated whether Chaos’ blood really counts as such ).
“What is that sword she’s got?” asked Sophitia, “Is that a Hatori Hanzo blade?”
“No, it’s a Baka Yoshi knock-off,” replied Adam. Just then, things got even weirder.
C-Pov – the feet of a man quickly running through the halls. Suddenly, a tall, bald Japanese man wearing a black suit, a Kato mask, and carrying a long staff burst through one of the doors. The camera did an immediate extreme close-up of his face. Johnny Go kiaied loudly. Moments later dozens of men ( and a few women ) dressed in black suits and Kato masks, nearly all of them armed with katanas, began rushing into Planet Hentai. They poured through the front doors, the side doors, the bathrooms ( both men’s AND women’s ), and several rappelled down from the ceiling through the skylights. The SporeHunters and Fanboys all brow-twitched.
“What?!” exclaimed Hotaru, “The Crazy 88’s are in this, too?!”
“Oh hell yes!” cried Haruka.
“The gratuitous hackfest will now begin!” added Jedite.
“So who are these Lazy 88 guys, anyway?” asked Minako, “I don’t think I’ve seen “Fill Bill”.”
“That’s CRAZY 88’s,” corrected Artemis.
“And the movie’s called “KILL Bill” not “FILL Bill”,” retorted Haruka, “Don’t ever confuse Quentin Tarantino’s great masterpiece with that f^%$ed-up porn flick that the Spore subjected us to that one time!”
“As for the Crazy 88’s,” added Tomoe, “They’re soon going to be dead meat!”
The scene switched, showing Chibiusa, Helios, FishEye, and NakoNako running through the halls. Suddenly, they went around a corner…and stopped dead in their tracks. Standing at the other end of the passage were a group of Crazy 88’s. Screaming like lunatics, the 88’s unsheathed their swords, threw the scabbards aside, and charged.
“Come on, you f^#%s!!” screamed back Chibiusa as she pulled out a crowbar, “We’ll take you all on! Come on! Lets…!” She turned around to see NakoNako, Helios, and FishEye running for their lives. “Oh! You backstabbing cockbites!” Chibiusa barely avoided getting hacked by a katana and ran like hell.
With a maniacal scream, Excel began swinging at everything around her, hitting one of the Crazy 88’s and lopping his head off. As the decapitated 88 staggered around for a few seconds, spewing blood from his neck like a geyser, Havoc watched all of this and brow-twitched angrily.
“Rip those bastards apart!!” she screamed.
“Let the Happy Hour @$$kicking begin!!” shouted Anarchy, gleefully. Demolition, Carnage, and Sarcasm pulled out their weapons, and Pandemonium grinned wickedly as she extended her tentacles again.
“Dinner is served!” she hissed.
“That does it!” shouted Morrigan over the radio, “SporeHunters, I have officially had enough of that brain-dead loon! Excel is now one of your targets. $12000 dollars alive…$24000 dollars DEAD! Oh…and $200 dollars for every dead Crazy 88 and Puchuu, too.”
“HOODY-HOO!!!” shrieked the SporeHunters as they finished cleaning off their guns and began shooting.
“Oh f#%$ yeah!!” screamed Haruka, “Now Excel’s being hunted, too!”
“Kill her!” shouted Michiru, “Kill her stupid @$$ dead!”
“Yakuza hunting season is now open!” called out Jedite.
“I want a hunting licence!” cried Tomoe, “I want to join in!”
“You and me both,” added Setsuna, smiling eagerly as the carnage began.
Guns began blazing, the background music ( “N.W.O.” by Ministry ) began playing, Excel continued hacking, and Crazy 88’s and Puchuus began dropping like flies as SporeHunter, Fanboy, Black Delmo, and even the customers of Planet Hentai began to pummel the living tar out of them. Puchuu’s were scrambling around all over the place and getting mowed down. Johnny Go was taken out of the fight early as a live octopus was hurled right at his face with pin-point accuracy. The camera kept snapping back and forth, showing all kinds of scenes of the carnage.
Solarchos took aim and fired…the camera showing a slow-motion shot of the rocket firing from his rifle, sailing through the air, striking a Crazy 88, then the microrocket exploded, blowing a wide, bloody hole clear through him. The blood spray was abundant to say the least.
“DAMN!!!” screamed the Suburban Senshi.
“Awesome!” shouted Haruka, headbanging.
Shaldra grabbed Solarchos’ Predator pistol and joined Wolfwood, Jup.Knight, Seiya, and Adam in blasting away at the Crazy 88’s. Yakuza began to fall, flailing around wildly as blood squirted out of the bullet-wounds. Puchuu’s were getting blown away as well, with purple blood splattering and freakishly ugly faces everywhere.
One of the Crazy 88’s began freaking out as a Covenant plasma grenade latched onto the crotch of his pants. Dropping his sword, he danced around for a second or so, desperately trying to knock the thing off…then it exploded, sending his screaming flaming carcass smashing into the ceiling twenty feet overhead. The camera swung around to show Minnie-May Hopkins smiling happily and flashing the V-sign.
“Hey! I’m calling foul!” cried Michiru, “I thought Starcat was supposed to be the official supplier of Covenant plasma grenades!”
“Who cares!!” shouted Jedite, “OH MY GODDESS!! That Anarchy girl just ripped that 88’s head off!”
“Sh!t! Somebody set a Puchuu on fire!” exclaimed Haruka, “Burn, baby, burn!”
“Whoa!” shouted Minako, “Lina Inverse just kicked that Crazy 88 in the crotch just like he was Gourry!”
“Excel’s kicking as much ass as the Bride!” cried Tomoe, “Look at those guys squirt! It’s beautiful! It’s just so beautiful!” Meanwhile, Hotaru grabbed her mouth and made a mad dash for the sink again, vomiting in disgust…again.
“Those poor, poor Puchuus…” she groaned.
“Is anyone keeping score?” asked Artemis.
“Sporehunters : 48…Fanboys : 55…Excel : 20,” stated Rei.bot, “Puchuus and Crazy 88’s : zero
“Haaaiiiiiiil Ilpalazzo!!” screamed Excel as she swung around in a wide arc, missing a couple of Crazy 88’s and butchering a Puchuu instead, its cute face instantly switching into that hideous Nixonesque-expression of theirs. “Your faithful Excel has come to claim this den of filth, indiscretion, and ecchiness in the name of you! Smash the enemy…!”
Freeze frame of Excel skewering a Crazy 88 through his guts. The blood spray was awesome.
“Smite the foe…!!” Another freeze frame, this time showing Excel chopping a Crazy 88 in half, splitting him like a piece of wood on a chopping block.
“For Ilpalazzo I bring death!!” Another freeze frame showed Excel ripping a Puchuu in half like a telephone book with her bare hands. Laughing maniacally, Excel spun around to face her next victim. Instead, she spun around to face Wolfwood.
Wolfwood smacked Excel in the face with his tonfa, smashing into her nose with a loud crack that was easily heard above the noise of battle.
“Ow!” whined Excel, “That hit my nose!” She fell to her knees as Wolfwood whacked her again in the head, following up with a third whack. Excel looked up at him…just in time to see him nail her in the face one more time. “Ouch!” cried Excel, “You know that really hurts?!” Wolfwood then began kicking the hell out of her.
“Hi! ( Whack! ) How ya doing?! ( Whack! ) Enjoying it?! ( Whack! ) I hope so! (Whack! )” he yelled as he kicked her over and over again in the ribs. Excel sprawled to the ground.
“Ow…” she groaned. Wolfwood pulled out his gun and took aim at Excel’s head…
“YES!” shrieked Michiru, “Put a cap in her @$$! Ohohohohohoho!!”
“Droppin’ plates on yo @$$, beee-otch!!” added Tomoe.
The scene switched, showing Kakyuu and Nyanko in the middle of a vicious catfight. Nyanko pimp-smacked Kakyuu, who retaliated by kicking Nyanko three times in the guts, followed closely by a Mike Tyson-power punch that sent her flying backwards through a door. The door broke off its hinges, and Kakyuu and Nyanko fell into the auditorium beyond. Tied to a chair up on the stage was Mamoru…with Saber Marionettes all around.
“Hey!” cried Lime, “It’s one of them Spores!”
“Really?” replied Bloodberry, “Where’s that Chibiusa b!^*h?! I wanna rip her f&%#ing head off!”
“Forget her for now!” cried Tiger, “Finish off Mamo-dork!”
“YEAH!!!” screamed Fiore, waving a lit cigarette lighter back and forth, “Start the show! Start the show!”
“YES!!!” screamed Jedite, “Cape-Boy’s about to get fragged!”
“Too bad he won’t actually be killed,” replied Tomoe, “But the emotional scars will probably last a lifetime!”
Nyanko leapt to her feet and ran down the aisle, screaming.
“Get this psychotic b!^*h offa me!!” she wailed. Kakyuu staggered to her feet, pulled out her rifle, and started shooting.
“Release the Hentai Fiends!” cried Cherry. Lime quickly skipped over to a lever set in the wall. Just then, Nyanko stumbled, barely evading the shots Kakyuu were aiming at her…and struck some arcane machinery sitting behind the curtain…which immediately began to short out.
“Oops?” offered Kakyuu. Meanwhile, the Saber Marionettes all stared in horror at the damaged machine and slowly began backing away.
“Oh sh!t!” gasped Lynx.
“This is NOT good!” added Baikou. The machine began to vibrate, making evil-sounding groans as pressure began to build up inside it.
“You idiot!” shrieked Bloodberry, grabbing Kakyuu by the collar, “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?!”
“Hey! I said oops, didn’t I?” retorted Kakyuu, “What’s the big deal?”
“The Hentai Containment Unit’s failing!” screamed Panther, “RUN!!!” The Saber Marionettes all turned and ran screaming for the door, nearly trampling Kakyuu in their mad dash to escape. Nyanko, however, was busy untying Mamoru.
“Thank you!” cried Mamoru as Nyanko removed his gag, “They were going to do horrible things to my body!”
“Just shut the f%$# up and run!” snapped Nyanko as she began untying his hands. Suddenly, one of the other doors burst open as the rest of the Spores rushed inside.
“Mamo-chan!!!” squealed Chibiusa…and FishEye. Helios and Nako-Nako just sweatdropped. Suddenly, a rather disheveled Kakyuu ( complete with a footprint on her face ) popped up from behind some chairs. Snickering wickedly, she took aim with her sniper rifle.
“Yes! Yes! Aim for the Spore!” cried Haruka.
“Kill her! Kill her!” chanted Jedite, “Put one through her head!” Hotaru just cackled.
Everyone inside the auditorium was knocked to the ground ( except Fiore, who was eagerly watching everything and munching on popcorn ) by a large explosion. Kakyuu, Mamoru, and the Spores all looked up…and sweatdropped big-time. Floating near the ceiling were dozens of creatures which looked like the squid-like Sentinel robots from “The Matrix”…only they were smaller, fully organic instead of metallic, and had the most perverted gleams in their numerous eyes. Mamoru screamed like a little girl as the things dived at them all.
“All right!” shrieked Tomoe, “Hentai Fiends!”
“Tentacle-rapes for everybody!” cried Artemis.
“Uhhh…I don’t think the upcoming scene is going to be suitable for young children,” commented Setsuna.
Starcat and Leudast skidded to a halt and broke out into huge, delighted smiles as they entered the main area of Planet Hentai. The fight was still in full swing. The camera swung around, first focusing on the cast of Slayers as they mosh-pitted the HELL out of some Puchuus, then the C-Pov showed Barret Wallace and Cloud Strife chucking a few Crazy 88’s into the Naughty Tentacle Obstacle Course, then a cameo appearance by Ozzy Osbourne as he bit the head off a Puchuu. Up on stage, preparing to sing, were Kobyashi Excel and Mikago Hyatt.
“Sore wa ai ja naiiiiiiii…!” they sang, “Ai wa sore ja naiiiiiii…!”
Meanwhile, most of the Suburban Senshi were facefaulting.
“Ozzy!!” screamed Tomoe, “Maybe he’ll bite Chibiusa’s head off next!”
“OMG! That’s disgusting!” cried Hotaru, cringing at the sight.
“They’re singing the “Excel Saga” theme song?!” retorted Artemis, staring at Mikago and Kobyashi, “In the middle of all THAT?!”
“That entire place must be high on crack or something,” stated Michiru.
Just as Starcat and Leudast were about to happily join the carnage…the Saber Marionettes all ran by, shrieking in terror as they all dashed for the door, knocking aside anyone who got in their way. A moment later Mamoru ran by, still screaming like a little girl…and missing his pants.
“Cape-Boy’s mooning us!” shouted someone. Quite a few people immediately got sick at the sight. It only got worse when Chibiusa flew at Mamoru like a pink cruise missile and latched onto his legs.
“Mamo-chan!” she squealed happily, “Take me! Take me!” People immediately began throwing up.
“Oh sweet god!” screamed Hotaru, “Shame on you Morrigan Aensland! Have you no sense of *decency *?!!”
The rest of the Spores ran screaming into the room, closely followed by an equally scared Kakyuu.
“They’re coming!” screamed Nyanko, “They’re coming for us all!”
“What the hell are you talking about, Kakyuu?!” screamed Wolfwood, who was just about to blow Excel’s head off. A rumble ran through the floor, then the doors that the Spores and Kakyuu had come through were ripped out of the wall by the horde of Hentai Fiends. Shrieks of terror filled the air as the Hentai Fiends attacked. ( New background music : the “Battle of Zion” theme from the “Matrix – Revolutions” movie. )
Haruka, Tomoe, and Jedite all stared at each other for a moment, then began headbanging wildly as the carnage got taken to a whole new level.
“Holy sh!t!” cried Artemis “This is BRUTAL!!” Everyone cringed as the Hentai Fiends started snatching people, entangling them with their tentacles, and proceeded to…well…use your imaginations.
“Six of those things just tackled Urd!!” cried Minako.
“Yeah. Who didn’t see that one coming?” added Hotaru, “Hey! No fair! Urd’s enjoying it!”
“Whoa!” exclaimed Michiru, “They just brought down that Pandemonium-gal…but are they tentacle-raping HER or is she tentacle-raping THEM?”
“Those Crazy 88’s are getting annihilated!” commented Setsuna.
“Those Hentai Demons…always get their foes in the…end no matter what,” intoned Rei.bot with a smirk.
Planet Hentai was filled with the sounds of massive gunfire, screams, and the lewd giggling of the Hentai Fiends. The SporeHunters were blasting away at the Fiends, but for every one they brought down, another seemed to replace it.
“Oh my goddess!” cried Seiya as she emptied her MP-5’s last clip into a Fiend, then switched over to her Desert Eagle, “They’ve everywhere! Game over, man! Game over!”
“Shut up and keep shooting!” snarled back Solarchos as he fired a burst from his MA-5B and reloaded.
“Those things just got C-Ko!!” shouted Adam as he reloaded his pistol, “Oh crap…they just got B-Ko, too!”
“And there goes A-Ko!!” added Leudast as he blew a hole through a Hentai Fiend with his shotgun, “This doesn’t look too good!”
“Look! It’s the Spores!” shouted Jup.Knight. He and Wolfwood immediately began shooting at Chibiusa and Nako-Nako, but accidentally shot a Fiend instead, bringing it down. Mamoru was trying to run for his life, but Chibiusa and FishEye had both latched onto him.
“Mamo-chan!! Where are you going?!” asked both Chibiusa and FishEye simultaneously. Mamoru was just screaming in pure terror, his mind overwhelmed by the horrors he was witnessing. Nako-Nako was desperately trying to avoid the bullets and lecherous tentacles flying all over the place. Excel was slowly getting to her feet while Nyanko and Helios were looking for a place to hide. Everywhere they looked it was pure madness.
The music stopped as Mikago looked behind her, sweatdropped, then tapped on Kobyashi’s shoulder. Kobyashi turned around slowly…then both of the Excel-Girls were snatched by the Hentai Fiends.
“Ahhhhh! Tentacle-monsters!” cried Mikago Hyatt.
“We’re caught!” screamed Kobyashi Excel.
“And scared!!” added Mikago.
“And turned on!” concluded Kobyashi. Then the Hentai Fiends *really * went to town on them.
Excel began freaking out as slippery, wriggling tentacles wrapped around her arms, legs, and waist from behind and hoisted her up into the air.
“What?!” screamed Excel, “Let go of me, you sick, twisted, perverted defilers of pure young virgins!! I am the sole property of Lord Ilpalazzo and I would never allow myself to be violated in such crude sadistic manner!! Excel will resist you with every ounce of strength, every spark of intelligence, every rule of law, every drop of blood! You’ll never take me! Never! Never! Never! ( SHOOMP!!! ) Yes! Yes! A little harder please…!!”
Nyanko watched in horror as a Field snagged Kaiba Seto from behind and proceeded to make him “squeal like a pig.” Helios watched, drooling, as Lina Inverse was taken down and enjoyed every second of watching the fiery-tempered red-head get pinned, felt up by tentacles moving underneath her clothes, and then…
…Helios froze as he felt tentacles wrap around HIM.
“What?! Wait!! No!!” screamed Helios as his arms and legs were pulled away from his body, and he felt the distinct sensation of a wet, gooey tentacle slithering its way up his pants. “No! You’re supposed to be going for schoolgirls!! Nyanko!!”
“Screw you, pal!” shouted back Nyanko as she ran off, “I don’t wanna be tentacle-raped!”
“No! No!” shrieked Helios, the camera zooming in on his panicked expression, and then…
SHOOMP!!! Helios burst out into loud Usagi-like wails.
“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” The Suburban Senshi all fell to the floor in hysterical laughter.
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” shrieked Hotaru, tears streaming from her eyes, “That is SO priceless!”
“Yaoi-boy! Yaoi-boy!” chanted Setsuna and Michiru.
The SporeHunters watched helplessly as Kinome was tackled by a Fiend and yanked off-camera.
“Damn,” commented Jup.Knight as he reloaded his laser rifle, “InuYasha’s gonna be PISSED now!”
“Who cares?! We’re next!” cried Seiya as she fired off the last shots in her Desert Eagle and switched to her .45.
“Shut up, you freak!” snapped Wolfwood. He turned slightly and joined Leudast and Adam in concentrating their fire and blowing away a Hentai Fiend diving towards them. Shaldra gulped nervously as the gun she took from Solarchos stopped firing.
“I’m outta shots!” she called out.
“I’m running low, too!” added Adam as he reloaded his pistol with its last clip.
“We’re all gonna get violated!!” screamed Seiya, “I’m too pretty to be tentacle-raped!!”
“Shut up!” yelled Kakyuu and Starcat. Starcat tossed another plasma grenade, hitting yet another Hentai Fiend. The Fiend started thrashing around wildly, dove upwards, then exploded, showering the whole area with Hentai-bits and dozens of gallons of Cream-Lemon.
“Cream-Lemon?!” demanded Leudast, “What the f%$#?!”
“Havoc must’ve been in the blast radius!” replied Shaldra. She looked up at the balcony overhead to see the Hentenno himself ( or rather, herself ) standing atop the railing, laughing maniacally.
“Yes! Yes!” she screamed at the top of her lungs as Hentai Fiends circled around her, “Go my pretties! Go and perv the planet! This is my world! MY WORLD!!! Muahahahahahahahaha!!” Sweatdropping a little, Wolfwood grabbed a plasma grenade off of Starcat, armed it, and threw it at Havoc, latching it onto the Uber-Perv’s thigh.
KA-SPLOOT!!! Cream-Lemon drenched the walls, ceiling, floor, and everything else in the area as the plasma grenade detonated.
“Nice going, Wolfwood…” grumbled Kakyuu, who was now liberally splatted with the stuff.
“Hey, where’s Solarchos?” cried Shaldra. Everyone looked around, then they saw him. He was running across the dance floor towards the main entrance, shooting a few Hentai Fiends that angled towards him and gunning down a few more that had helpless anime-girls pinned ( he deliberately ignored the one “defiling” Helios ). He then got the hell out of Planet Hentai.
“That jerk!” shouted Seiya, “He’s abandoned us all!”
“I think he’s got the right idea!” called out Wolfwood, “I’m down to one more clip for my Eagle!”
“Crap!” screamed Kakyuu as she struggled with her rifle, “I think I’m jammed!” Suddenly, a tentacle lashed forward and wrapped around Starcat’s leg.
“Yow! Get offa me!” shouted Starcat. Shaldra lunged at the tentacle, extending her claws.
“Leave her alone, ya freak!” shrieked Shaldra as she started slashing at the thing. The Hentai Fiend looked at her…then tossed Starcat aside and dove at her instead.
“What?!” cried Adam, “It’s going after Shaldra!”
“Of course!” snapped Leudast, “She’s a catgirl in a school uniform!” Seiya, Wolfwood, and Leudast all turned to face Shaldra’s attacker. Shaldra, meanwhile, facefaulted big-time as she was quickly immobilized by the Fiend’s tentacles.
“Aw, crap…THIS IS GONNA SUCK!!!” she wailed.
Starcat hit the ground, sliding several feet across the Cream-Lemon smeared floor. Her shotgun flew out of her hands and landed…right next to Chibiusa. Starcat sat up and looked around. FishEye was currently busy having Mamoru give him a horse-back ride, Nyanko had been backed into a corner by a pair of Fiends, Helios was in the middle of a serious tentacle-raping…and Chibiusa was pointing the shotgun right at her face.
“Word up, b!^*h,” snarled Chibiusa, smiling evilly. She suddenly looked over at the main doors of the place as she heard the unmistakable sounds of an engine revving.
C-Pov – the doors leading out of Planet Hentai. Suddenly, the doors were blasted apart as an M12 Warthog drove straight through them, running over numerous display cases containing Havoc’s hentai memorabilia in the process. Behind the wheel was none other than Solarchos. Grinning wickedly, he drove the Warthog down the stairs, turning slightly to run over the Fiend tentacle-raping Shampoo and Ukyo, and skidded to a halt. Starcat quickly took advantage of the distraction to punch Chibiusa in the face, spin her around, and kick her squarely in the ass.
“Yeah!” cheered Haruka, “Kick her ass! Kick her ass good!”
Standing up and leaning over the windshield, Solarchos brought up his microrocket rifle, took aim through the scope, and fired. The C-Pov showed both microrockets shoot across the nightclub and slam directly into the Hentai Fiend attacking Shaldra. The Fiend stiffened, thrashed a little as the gyroslugs exploded inside its body, and flopped over.
“Scragged your @$$!” hissed Solarchos, triumphantly.
“Yay!” cried Shaldra, “You saved me again! My hero!”
“Holy crap!” called out Rally Vincent, “Is that a sniper-variant Mark-3 Godwyn-pattern Boltgun? Tell me…you didn’t get that on *this * planet, did you?”
“Starcat!” shouted Solarchos as he kept on shooting at the Fiends, “Get on the chaingun!” Starcat quickly scrambled up the stairs and leapt into the back of the Warthog. Cackling maniacally, she began blasting away at the Fiends with a non-stop stream of 20mm caseless bullets at 1200 rpm. The new background music kicked in – “Brothers in Arms” from the Halo soundtrack ( also known as the cool “escape pod falling to Halo” scene-music ). The rest of the Sporehunters quickly joined in and, in less than a minute, ALL of the Hentai Fiends were blown away. The last one fell at the edge of the Jell-O fighting pit. Twitching weakly, bleeding from dozens of wounds, it reached out with its tentacles to gently caress Shaldra’s tail.
“SON OF A B!^*H!!” she screamed. From behind her back she whipped out a large chainsaw, revved it up, and proceeded to messily butcher the stricken Hentai Fiend.
“Whoa! That’s one pissed-off cat-girl!” exclaimed Hotaru.
“Kowaii!” cried Minako.
“Ain’t it great?!” said Tomoe.
“Yeah! She’s hacking that thing up like Freddy Kruger!” added Jedite, “It’s awesome! Go, kitty, go!”
Chibiusa cautiously looked around. The slaughtered Fiends were all over the place, people were slowly staggering to their feet…and the way out of Planet Hentai was less than twenty feet away.
“All right,” stated Morrigan over the radio, “You’ve managed to rescue ONE person…I guess you’re free to go. Now, get to Excel and bring he with you. She’s one of you, now. Get her and get your loser @$$ to Galaxy TV. That’s your next target.”
“What?!” demanded Nyanko, “We gotta work with Excel now? This sucks!”
“Shut the f%#$ up and do it!” hissed Chibiusa. FishEye was busy glomping Mamoru, Nako-Nako was cowering near the stairs, Excel was currently trying to get to get feet…and falling over every time, and Helios was on the floor, curled up in a fetal position, sobbing.
“I am not yaoi…I am not yaoi…I am not yaoi…” he kept whimpering over and over again.
“Hurry!” ordered Chibiusa, “We gotta get outta here before the Sporehunters see us!” Chibiusa grabbed the shotgun off the floor, FishEye grabbed Mamoru, Nako-Nako grabbed her hat ( which was saturated with Cream-Lemon ), and Nyanko pulled Helios to his feet…and well as pulled out the severed tentacle that was dangling out of a big hole in the seat of his pants.
“I am not yaoi!!” he exclaimed to Nyanko.
“I don’t care!” retorted Nyanko, “Just go! You, too, Excel!”
“Excel feels very, very sore,” moaned Excel, “As well as “not-so-fresh”…” Nyanko quickly grabbed her off the floor and began dragging her out towards the door.
“Dude!” cried Wolfwood, “We thought you’d ditched us!” Solarchos smiled a bit as he and Starcat quickly came over.
“The situation was getting pretty bad,” he explained, “So I decided to get some additional firepower. I figured a Warthog was just what we needed.”
“Nice!” commented Jup.Knight. Starcat just grinned insanely, still high from getting to use the chaingun.
“You saved me from getting tentacle-raped!” cried Shaldra, rushing over, “You rule!” Solarchos was knocked to the ground as the cat-girl leapt at him and proceeded to power-glomp him. Kakyuu just laughed.
“At least I didn’t get tentacle-raped,” sighed Seiya, “Something like that would destroy my career!”
“You don’t have a career,” retorted Leudast, “You retired, didn’t you?”
“I could always make a comeback, you know!” replied Seiya.
Meanwhile, unnoticed by everyone else, the Spores were slowly and carefully making their way up the stairs towards the exit. A moment later Adam glanced over his shoulder and saw them.
“Hey!” he cried out, pointing, “There they go!”
“F^%#!!!” screamed the Spores. They immediately ran towards the exit.
“After ‘em!” shouted Jup.Knight, “Finish ‘em off!”
“Nyanko’s mine!” screamed Kakyuu.
“Hold it!” called out another voice. The SporeHunters turned around to see the Fanboys staggering up to them. Anarchy and Pandemonium were missing most of their clothes, and what little they had left was dripping with Hentai Fiend slime. Demolition, Sarcasm, and Carnage were covered with the blood of Puchuu’s and Crazy 88’s, Chaos looked like hell…especially since he’d been “targeted” by a Fiend easy-on, and Havoc was brow-twitching angrily as she surveyed the damage done to Planet Hentai.
“Well, *this * is a fine state of affairs,” grumbled Sarcasm.
“Hurting…stop…when?” whimpered Chaos.
“You know, I’d normally be in a really good mood after something like this except somebody blew up the bar with a plasma grenade,” growled Anarchy, “Somebody *killed * my sake! I may cry!”
“In the middle of all the confusion NO ONE noticed my beautiful, buffed body!” cried Demolition, “I’m insulted!”
“What the hell do you want from us?!” demanded Solarchos, “You got half of Zoicite’s bounty plus an even-split of the Puchuu and Crazy-88 bounties. That’s…what? About $15000 dollars for both our sides!”
“Planet Hentai’s a mess!” screamed Havoc, momentarily going to super-deformed mode, “It’ll be HOURS before I can reopen the place…!”
“Uh…just hours?” remarked Shaldra, brow-twitching a little. Havoc continued.
“I demand compensation for my pain and suffering!!” screamed the Hentenno.
“What pain and suffering?!” demanded Wolfwood, “Every time YOU got hit you did that “lemon thing” and splattered everyone with that lemon-flavored Jell-O pudding sh!t!”
“Hey! There’s ALWAYS room for Jell-O!” retorted Havoc. Meanwhile, Solarchos just sighed and tossed Havoc a set of keys. They were the ignition keys to the Warthog he’d driven into Planet Hentai.
“There,” he told the Fanboys, “I’ll even arrange for you guys to get a full reload of chaingun ammo. Deal?” The Fanboys stared at the keys, then stared at the Warthog parked near the middle of the dance floor, the lights bathing it with an almost heavenly glow.
“DEAL!!!” screamed the Fanboys eagerly. They immediately rushed over and began dancing around their new vehicle. As the did that, the Sporehunters began running towards the door.
“Let’s finish those b@$^ards off!” stated Solarchos.
“Count me in on that!” added Shaldra.
“Some pink spore is gonna DIE tonight!” snarled Kakyuu.
“Don’t forget,” called out Wolfwood, “Horse-boy is all mine!”
“Deal,” replied Solarchos as they all dashed through the door. The scene went black.
“Dammit!” shouted Haruka, “Why’s it keep doing this intermission sh!t?! We can always just hit “Pause” or something!”
“Who cares,” retorted Michiru, “I’ve gotta go to the bathroom.”
“I’m not surprised,” said Jedite, “You’ve been downing more beers than Haruka. I’m astonished.”
“Well, I think you’ve gotta be drunk to be watching this insanity,” replied Michiru.
“All of a sudden I’ve got this strange craving for Jell-O,” admitted Setsuna.
“Me, too,” added Hotaru. All of a sudden Tomoe leapt to his feet and dashed upstairs, giggling in the most perverted way.
“Panties!!” he squealed, “I must have panties!!”
“The hell?!” cried Minako.
“Crap! I think the Uber-Perv has infected his mind!” said Artemis, “Planet Hentai must’ve warped his fragile mind!”
“Uhh…cat, that guy’s mind was already warped beyond human comprehension long before we ever started watching this,” explained Jedite. Suddenly, Tomoe rushed back through the room, brushing past Setsuna and running back upstairs, still giggling.
“What the…?!” cried Setsuna, “That pervert stole my panties!!! That b@$^ard’s dead now!” Whipping out the Garnet Staff ( or BAK, as some people call it ) Setsuna took off after Professor Tomoe…and her panties. Rei.bot sighed.
“The insanity continues…” she intoned.
End of Part Six.
Will the Spores make it to Galaxy TV? Michiru : “I hope not.”
Will Mamoru escape from the clutches of FishEye? Setsuna : “Save him!!!”
What fate awaits Zoicite? Jedite : “Heh! Hopefully something involving his internal organs, some fava beans, and a nice Chiante!”
Is there any hope for Chibiusa and her friends? Hotaru : “Kill them! Kill them all! Let Fek’lahr sort them out! Muahahahahaha!! ( thwap! ) Ow…”
Find out in the next episode of Suburban Senshi : Sporehunt!