A Wedding Fiction
Composed by: Tux Rainbow (with assistance from Sailor Terra (S. Terra))
c 2004 The Level Six Senshi, Ltd. All rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
Naoko Takeuchi is hereby thanked for her involuntary contribution to this fanfic.
People on the chat box, with the exception of the Suburban Senshi, Sailor Terra and TuxRainbow are used without permission.
Please don't pirate this episode. Every time you pirate this episode, a stuntman dies.
EPISODE PREVIEW
Artemis: Well, the day draws near. And Xadium and Minako have asked for fan fictions from those who cannot draw. Well, two new chat box regulars, TuxRainbow.
Tux Rainbow (bowing): Hello.
Artemis: And S. Terra
S. Terra (lady-like bow): Greetings.
Artemis: Have decided to try their hand at a Suburban Senshi episode. Please note that this episode may contain language that is not intended for children under 13, like Chibi-Usa.
Chibi-Usa: I am ovr 13 u fukr cat!1!1!1
S. Terra: Someone get us some letters, stat!
Artemis: Anyway, here we go with the show...
(OPENING THEME: 311 - "Love Song" - Xadium and Minako's Love (Love) theme)
It was just another day on the chat box, or was it?
Minako Aino bounded into House Ten'ou, genkier than ever.
"Today's the day!" she shouted. "Today's the day!"
Most of the house, who were asleep, awoke. Haruka walked down in a drunken state, as was her usual.
Haruka burped, then spoke.
"What the f[BLEEP]k is the matter with you?" Haruka asked, "it's seven in the f[BLEEP]king morning!"
Michiru gallantly walked down next.
"Good morning all," Michiru sang. She looked at Haruka, and scoffed, and whispered to Minako, "Break a leg."
"Nani? I don't want to wear a cast on such a great day as today," Minako replied, "today, I will be married to the man who proposed to me!"
Minako ate her usual breakfast (Sailor V flakes), as Haruka made herself Beer Flakes. Michiru contently prepared some green tea, as Jedite appeared.
"The Jedite would like to know why The Jedite has to hold these human items," Jedite responded, holding the two rings.
"They are for the ceremony," Minako responded, "besides, no one would steal from a chief such as yourself."
"Thief," corrected Artemis.
"AH, NOTHING LIKE THE FIRST TATSY COFFEE OF THE DAY," boomed the voice of Professor Tomoe.
Hotaru walked down the stairs next, glaring at Haruka.
"Next time, I decide who I want to date, not you," Hotaru commented, pointing her glaive at Haruka.
Setsuna briefly looked at the scene, smiled cryptically, then vanished.
"Gee, you try to help people, and get f[BLEEP]ked in the process," Haruka responded.
"The Jedite wishes she would return to the future," Jedtie responded, "The Jedite hates the fact that she has taken over The Jedite's old digs."
"Some of us are still asleep," mentioned the miko known as Rei.bot.
"Not anymore," Minako chuckled. It had been only about a few days ago that she and Xadium (and no, his real name will not be mentioned here) had decided to split up until the wedding.
Only about a week before, Quinox, the outer Senshi, had decided to treat Minako to a bachelorette party. To say it was a travesty would be an understatement.
<<FLASHBACK - ABOUT 7 DAYS AGO>>
Terra, Quinox, TimeGal, Morrigan, and YingGirl (dragged along) took Minako out to an all male show, sort of like Chippendale's. Ying just watched as the girls watched the men undress to their skivvies. Unfortunately, the evening turned ugly quickly.
Terra thought she saw a flash of pink.
"Couldn't be," she muttered.
"Men!" shouted someone "U wil al be mi men slavez!"
"It is," Terra responded.
YingGirl acted next, tearing the Spore apart in an instant, and then, in a murderous rage, burned the building to the ground.
The night ended as soon as it began, and Terra paid the damages.
She heard from Tux that Xadium's night went better. He said that although Xadium was in a constant state of nosebleed, their trip to Planet Hentai went well. Tux decided against drinking, and watched as Xadium get a face full of powah from a willing Makoto (aka Sailor Jupiter) . He also mentioned Shinji Ikari's little incident with a hermaphrodite.
<<END FLASHBACK>>
This day, however, most of the people in the chat were preparing for the wedding. Plant-kun was even dressed in a tuxedo for the occasion.
Chibi-Quinox giggled, as she and Katsumi played. Megume was nearby, drinking beer. Xadium, Minako assumed was up.
"I hope this wedding goes off without an itch," Minako stated.
"You mean a hitch," S. Terra responded, entering the house wearing her wedding dress.
"Elegant," Michiru commented.
"I hope you and Xadium are as good of a couple as I and Tuxedo are," Terra responded, "Tux is with Xadium at the moment."
"I MUST MAKE SURE THE CLONE IS READY FOR THE DANCE," boomed the Professor, "OTHERWISE, I WILL HAVE NO DATE! MUAH-HA-HA-HA!"
Terra just sweat dropped..
"I am glad I was taken away from him," Hotaru mentioned, "but why make me a priest?"
"I didn't want that pimp horse-boy there to ruin my special day." Minako responded.
Rap music (perhaps it was Eminem) blared. No, it wasn't Haruka.
"Damn it!" Haruka responded, "turn that shit off!"
"The mack daddy, Pimp Daddy Elios is in the Hizzouse, ya'll!" Elios responded.
"Get lost, Horse Boy," Terra responded.
"I hear Minako didn't want me to be a priest/ so I'll save my gift for the feast." Helios rapped.
"Ugh, don't tell me that it's some sick twisted gift or something," Haruka responded.
"What I give her is of no concern to you / Just be glad I didn't f[BLEEP]k her blue!" Helios responded.
Rei.Bot, after censoring Elios, promptly kicked him out the door.
"Not on this day," was all the Shinto priestess said.
"Thank's Rei,bot," Terra replied.
"I'll be back / to give you a wack/ Little Priestess, Jedite's Max Power isn't worth jack." Elios rapped as he left.
"And I wonder why I listen to that shit," Haruka responded, drinking a beer.
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Meanwhile, over at House Tomoe, now the home of Xadium, now connected to the other house by a passageway of green energy...
Xadium awoke, after contemplating final repairs to the TARDIS. TuxRainbow arrived.
"Cold Feet, Doc?" TuxRainbow asked.
"Gallifreyans do not get cold feet," the Time Lord responded, "second thoughts; however..."
Shinji nodded, looking at some pictures, and sweat dropping.
"That was a girl with man things?" Shinji asked, "Shinji does not swing that way."
Senshi Guardian arrived next. "TimeGal and I are going to check on the final preparations in the Tower," he stated.
"Go ahead," TuxRainbow responded.
He knew that Tomoe the elder did not like to move his lab, so he took to guarding Xadium until the fateful hour.
The Time Lord checked his pocket watch.
"Not long now," he stated.
TuxRainbow nodded.
"She's a vision, Xadium," TuxRainbow stated, "the Senshi of love and beauty. Treat her well." TuxRainbow responded.
"Thanks for the fatherly advise, but I can handle her," Xadium responded.
"After those Nosebleeds at Planet Hentai, you could survive a Senshi orgy," TuxRainbow remarked, jokingly.
Xadium got yet another nosebleed, possibly from thinking about such an image, which in his dimension, would never occur.
"I'll get the Kleenex," TuxRainbow stated.
SolarChoas peeked in. "Ying's still after me, right?" he asked.
TuxRainbow nodded form somewhere, returning with a Kleenex.
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Down in the lab of Professor Tomoe... the clone was being finished.
"ALMOST DONE," Professor Tomoe responded, "AND I SEE THAT BERYL INDEED HAS BACK!"
Tomoe laughed his usual laugh, and hoped that the Jedite would not destroy this clone too soon.
(EYECATCH: Xadium, in a tux, and Minako in a dress, both SD, dance on the screen. Singers sing, "Suburban Senshi Stars")
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COMMERCIAL: From the creators of Survivor, Survivor All-Stars, and Survivor: The Australian Outback...
This season... One Million dollars is on the line... in the most dangerous... the most brutal... the most intense Survivor ever.
This time, two tribes will be forced to survive...
...The Suburban Senshi.
(Shot of some guy with Chibi-Usa)
Chibi-Usa: Make h0t luv to mi, man slav.
Man: Get me out of here! Get me the f[BLEEP]k out of here!
(Shot of man, barely alive)
Prof. Tomoe: NOW TO ADD THE DIAMON EGG!
Man: No, not that! I'll give immunity to anyone to stop this!
(Shot of lady with YingGirl)
Ying: ....
Lady: What the f[BLEEP]k's wrong with you!
Ying: You die now.
It is time to outwit, outplay, but most of all, outlast.
Sixteen players... one winner... too many losers to count.
Jeff Probst: The Suburban Senshi have spoken... you have been eliminated.
Lady: But I did everything they told me to. Please, don't...
(Hotaru quickly kills the lady)
Haruka: Who's f[BLEEP]king next?
Survivor: Suburban Senshi Style. Coming soon (or not) to a chat box near you.
(EYECATCH: Haruka and Michiru, both SD, punt Minako and Xadium out of the picture. Standard Cartoon fight ensues)
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The hour was about to dawn. Lunch had been served in both houses,. The tension was so think, you could not cut it with a Ginzu knife.
And Minako was getting cold feet.
"Maybe I don't want to marry him," Minako stated, "we still haven't figured out who will get whose name."
"Like I said before," Terra responded, "You'll figure that out later. It's nearly time. Be late, and people will wonder if this is a Jewish wedding.
Michiru nodded.
"Break a leg, but get married, please," commented a drunk Haruka.
Hotaru was upstairs, checking her priestly garb.
"My garb is ready," rei.bot responded.
"AS AM I," Professor Tomoe responded.
"Let's get you married, before you get second thoughts," Quinox responded, "Come on, Miki, Megume, and Katsumi."
Miki bounded downstairs, as Megume followed, protection field kicking in. Katsumi staggered down last.
"I guess we are ready," Terra responded.
Minako nodded, heading to her room to finalize her end of the wedding,
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Meanwhile, Xadium was ready to go.
"I Guess the guards will be ready as well," Shinji responded.
Starcat popped in, fireworks ready.
"They are," she responded.
"Magic time, Xadium," Tuxedo responded.
Xadium nodded. It was nearly 7:25, the time of the processional.
"I hope all goes well," Xadium responded.
"It will, and the two of you will have the kiss, and the miracle romance will begin," TuxRainbow responded.
Shinji just laughed.
In the TARDIS, the bubbles were lit, the children and Hotaru the second were playing. The sides were seated. The sakura petals wasted in the breeze. This night was a night for magic. As Hotaru began her march to the altar, Terra turned to TuxRainbow, and asked, "Will this be a Timeless Love?"
As Michiru finished and the bells pealed seven thirty, TuxRainbow stated, "Only time will tell. Only Time will tell."
The bridesmaids and groomsmen appeared. Soon, the ceremony would start...
...and hopefully, nothing will go wrong this night.
...and hopefully, the love of Xadium and Minako will truly be timeless.
(ENDING THEME - "Timeless Love" (original song) - TuxRainbow and Terra's Gift Theme)
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To Xadium and Minako... may the love of the Time Lord and the Senshi of Love be truly timeless.
Timeless love... you and me
Timeless love... we were meant to be.
9/4/04